A FELT EXPERIENCE (The story of my’ ecological conversion’)
For me, the concept of ‘ecological conversion' was new. It was after going through the Encyclical of Pope Francis, ‘Laudato Si' and the training imparted by Global Catholic Climate Movement, the concept became clearer to me.
George Polackal, Laudato Si’ Animator- India
I have loved nature from my childhood itself. Alongside, kept a feeling of compassion towards others. Travelled a lot, India and abroad, enjoyed the company of nature in the Himalayas, seashores, desserts and local settings. Practised meditation and prayer in some Catholic Ashrams. Taught Social Sciences in the School and developed a special interest in museums and geographical studies..
Even in the midst of all the above experiences, I often felt an inner craving in me, which I could not discern fully until recently. Some inner deprivation was clearly felt. The inadequacy in my relationship with others, nature and God was the disturbing factor behind this confusion. But it took time to discern it properly.
All through my life I have longed for more clarity in many things and approached many sources to quench my inner thirst, for that which I am called for! Sadly, I could not reach up to that successfully. From this 'clear -not clear' background starts my story to ecological conversion and clarity of thought and vision. To say frankly, I read and re-read the steps Pope Francis illustrated in his journey. of ecological conversion-examination of conscience,-repentance and a commitment to changing course.-It was really a blessing to learn that conversion is a grace of God and God always blesses us with His grace. But the receiving end-me- should also be ready to receive it. Here I arrived at that missing dimension in me. So far I have not been properly responding to the blessings of the Holy Spirit! . Most often an 'easy go comfortable syndrome' overshadowed me! Moreover, I was not ready to part with my reservations with its colourings of jealousy and pride! Now I absorb these words:’ if we open ourselves, God will respond in God's own ways’. This is my starting point towards my journey and I felt an awakening in me for something more!
I have always encountered a personal touch in Laudato Si and have found it more an answer to my inner thirst. More, it clarified and convinced me of the interconnectedness of everything in creation. My awareness grew and I realised, It is only when I am integrated into my environment, fellow beings and the creator God that I can have a joyful and peaceful life, Otherwise everything will remain unfinished till the end. This acted as a wake-up call for me!
Now I look back to my life and understand that God has been preparing me for this conversion through all my unfinished tasks in my past, disturbing me often. I have stopped grieving over it and have started capitalising on it for something better. A significant aspect of my conversion is the throwing away of my 'secret reservations'.no one could detect except me and God!. This acted as a block and now I understand how my seemingly good attempts failed! The change in my attitudes and the consequent happiness and peace is clearly felt now. I get the right direction to clear my unfinished tasks of my earlier life without any grief or obsessions at all! Now I understand clearly the grace of God flowing in me and feel ever more connected to God, others and the Earth. Feel happy when I chant 'The Prayer For our Earth' and 'A Christian prayer in union with creation.'
Laudato Si' Animators Training was a milestone in this journey. It was not merely an online course, more, it was a call to conversion personally and as a member of this planet. To be part of this global community is an inspiration, a guiding force and a blessing. I renew my commitment to Laudato Si' Pledge. As a member of this international community, I feel an inner urge to reorient my life for a Laudato Si' way of life. I thank God for His loving care of me and praise Him with and through all the Creation.
Love,
George
