(Based on Nonviolent Communication as developed by Marshall. B. Rosenberg Ph.D.)
(George Polackal, NVC supporter, Kochi)
Nonviolent Communication, also known as Compassionate Communication is a process initiated by Marshall B Rosenberg Ph.D. More than a process it is a way of life, leading to the much sought after peace, happiness and joy in our lives. Violence has taken deep roots in all spheres of life and it has been accepted as something taken for granted in our life! It is very clear that violence has its origin in our communication pattern. Very often we communicate without awareness or presence of mind, by habit and cultural conditioning.
As a result, verbal or psychological violence colors our communication which is capable of producing pain in the form of sadness, guilt, fear, anger, loneliness, resentment and so on. This type of communication which disconnects us from ourselves and others is known as life alienating communication.NVC Helps in transforming this life alienating communication into life enriching communication thereby making relationships smoother and joufyl.NVC helps us to connect at the heart level and thus it becomes the ‘Language of the Heart’ . It is a language of respect, empathy and honesty. NVC intends to create quality connection that will ensure peace, joy and happiness through meeting every body’s’ needs nonviolently
NVC has two parts
Empathy-receiving from the heart, being open and available to what is alive in others.
Honesty-giving from the heart. It begins with ‘truly understanding ourselves and our needs and being in tune with what is alive in us in the present moment.’
In order to receive empathically we have to learn the language of Nonviolent Communication. The essential ingredients of NVC are:
Observation-without evaluation, analysis, judgment, criticism, blame etc. Observation should be as factual as possible.
Feeling- we stat how we feel about the situation, directly after we have clarified observation. In other wiords they are ‘stimulated by what we or others observe or think’.
Needs- feelings are caused by needs. Needs are the basic things that people need to support life. They are the heart of the process. Everything that someone does or says is an attempt to meet the need. When our needs are met we feel satisfied and when our needs are unmet, we feel sad or unhappy.-
We have to connect our feelings to needs thereby we shall be expressing honestly to others and they will be in a better position to understand us.
Requests- we have to make clear request to meet our needs. Requests is about ‘ you and me or about me and me or about you and you.”
By focusing on the above ingredients
-we express ourselves
- we listen to others
- We get in touch with ourselves
-we increase the flow of compassionate connection
NVC is based on the innate goodness of human nature and the commonality of needs. ‘It is based on the recognition that needs are not in conflict with each other-only strategies can be in conflict. Through ensuring that both partners hear and connect fully with each other’s needs, we look together for strategies that would meet as many of those needs as possible for all parties involved’.
Workshop on introduction to Compassionate Communication
A workshop on ‘Introduction to Compassionate communication’ was held by NVC supporter George Polackal at Kochi on 13th June 2010 and it was attended by 30 participants. They were new to this process and found it powerful in enhancing relationships and transforming’ potential conflicts into peaceful dialogue.’
For more details please visit www.CNVC.org.
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