“Never see a need without doing something about it.”
Mary Mackillop, the newly canonized saint from Australia
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
To Stay young....An interesting forward I got...
How to Stay Young n Happy Always :-)
1. Throw out nonessential numbers.
This includes age, weight, and height.
Establish a relationship with Him through Jesus, to enjoy eternal life with Him
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
And if you don't send this to at least four people - who cares?
But do share this with someone.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Just to think
|
Sometimes we need an angel for ourselves,
Sometimes we are destined to be an angel for others.
(This is a forward I got!)
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Be the someone!
somewhere else may not offer a better alternative to our situation, butsomeone else listening and understanding may.
Empathy is a priceless gift. Let that someone be you.
Friday, September 24, 2010
A wide world opened!
I believe I know why it is satisfying to me to hear someone. When I can really hear someone, it puts me in touch with him; it enriches my life. It is through hearing people that I have learned all that I know about individuals, about personality, about interpersonal relationships. Carl Rogers
Do you miss Empathy?
 | Tragically, one of the rarest commodities in our culture is empathy. People are hungry for empathy, They don't know how to ask for it. Marshall B. Rosenberg, |
IDEA-Oct.2,2010
| International Day for Empathic Action (IDEA) - October 2, 2010 | ||
 | In every state, in every country, on every continent, people will gather in empathic listening, connecting, and action so that we may see all beings integrate suffering to become free, fully alive, and resolve differences peacefully. International Day for Empathic Action (IDEA) Events and Activities will take place all over the world aware of each other to create unity, community, and a world-wide understanding of empathy. | |
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Alzheimer's Disease, know more! serve better!
Alzheimer's Disease
Also called: AD
Alzheimer's disease (AD) is the most common form of dementia among older people. Dementia is a brain disorder that seriously affects a person's ability to carry out daily activities.
AD begins slowly. It first involves the parts of the brain that control thought, memory and language. People with AD may have trouble remembering things that happened recently or names of people they know. Over time, symptoms get worse. People may not recognize family members or have trouble speaking, reading or writing. They may forget how to brush their teeth or comb their hair. Later on, they may become anxious or aggressive, or wander away from home. Eventually, they need total care. This can cause great stress for family members who must care for them.
AD usually begins after age 60. The risk goes up as you get older. Your risk is also higher if a family member has had the disease.
No treatment can stop the disease. However, some drugs may help keep symptoms from getting worse for a limited time.
From NIH (US)
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Needs List
Needs List
CONNECTION | Connection cont. | MEANING Awareness Celebration of life Challenge Clarity Competence Consciousness Contribution Creativity Discovery Efficacy Effectiveness Growth Hope Learning Mourning Participation Purpose Self-expression Stimulation To matter Understanding | AUTONOMY PHYSICAL WELL-BEING PLAY |
This list was developed from www.cnvc.org
Feelings List
Feelings when Needs are Met
| AFFECTIONATE Compassionate Friendly Loving Warm CONFIDENT Empowered Open Proud Safe Secure ENGAGED Absorbed Alert Curious Engrossed Enchanted Fascinated Interested Spellbound Stimulated | EXHILARATED Ecstatic Elated Radiant Thrilled GRATEFUL Appreciative Moved Thankful Touched HOPEFUL Expectant Encouraged Optimistic INSPIRED Amazed Awed Wonder | EXCITED REFRESHED | JOYFUL Delighted Glad Happy Jubilant Pleased PEACEFUL Calm Clear headed Comfortable Centered Content Fulfilled Mellow Quiet Relaxed Relieved Satisfied Serene Still Tranquil Trusting | ||||
This list was developed from www.cnvc.org | |||||||
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Empathy vsSympathy
Empathy
| ||||||||
Friday, September 10, 2010
Upcoming events-
Compassionate Communication
Oct.2nd, 2010
Gandhi Jayanthi
International Day for Empathic Action ( IDEA)
Workshop on
The Power of Empathy
Based on Nonviolent Communication as introduced by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D
( By George Polackal, Peace activist , NVC supporter)
( Former Principal, Cardinal Higher secondary School, Thrikkakara)
Time 10 am- 12-30pm
Venue: PUSHPA DARSANA (Little Flower Generalate, Thrikkakara, Kochi-21)
You are welcome! Since space is limited, kindly register in advance by phone, email or in person!
Email: geopolackal@yahoo.co.im
Phone – 04842425230(R) 9746773909(Mob.)
Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are feeling and experiencing. True empathy requires listening with the whole being. "The hearing that is only in the ears is one thing. The hearing of the understanding is another. But the hearing of the spirit is not limited to any one faculty, to the ear, or to the mind. Hence it demands the emptiness of all the faculties. And when the faculties are empty, then the whole being listens. There is then a direct grasp of what is right there before you that can never be heard with ears or understood with the mind.
(Chuang-Tzu, the Chinese Philosopher)
Visit: http://georgepolackal.blogspot.com
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Sep.10, World Suicide Prevention Day
Across the world one life is snuffled out by suicide every 40 seconds, as per WHO statistics!
The theme this year is : "Many Faces, Many Places: Suicide Prevention Across the World"
Let us support the prevention activities!
Let us join filling each heart with joy and peace!
Let us be compassionate to each other!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
True Happiness
…..”Happy are those who are merciful to others;
God will be merciful to them!”
“Happy are the pure in heart;
They will see God!”
“Happy are those who work for peace;
God will call them his children!”……..
Mt 5:7-9
“Be compassionate, as your heavenly Father is compassionate”
Lk6:36
Get Life Energy!
("The Most Powerful List You Must Have and Use"
I mention this list almost every week in the communication tips. It
is the Needs List. It is a list of our life qualities, some say our
life energy.
is the Needs List. It is a list of our life qualities, some say our
life energy.
Just looking at the list and each value can offer you energy: yes, life
energy. You don't even need to do anything. Just look and you will
probably feel better than you already do.
energy. You don't even need to do anything. Just look and you will
probably feel better than you already do.
The list can be found at http://rickgoodfriend.com/needs.htm . It is
from the Center of Nonviolent Communication. There are other Needs
Lists that may be found on the internet.
from the Center of Nonviolent Communication. There are other Needs
Lists that may be found on the internet.
The Tip:
1: Just look down the list and observe what values you connect with.
Imagine those values being satisfied.
Imagine those values being satisfied.
2: Think of a positive experience during your life. Now look at the
list and identify what values/needs were satisfied by this
experience.
list and identify what values/needs were satisfied by this
experience.
Feel a change in your energy? I keep this list near my phone and
computer to refer to during the day.. Our values/needs are the root of
connecting with ourselves and others.
computer to refer to during the day.. Our values/needs are the root of
connecting with ourselves and others.
Hoping that this tip is a contribution. Always enjoy your comments,
connection and e-mails to me.
connection and e-mails to me.
From my heart,
Rick Goodfriend
www/walkyourtalk.org
www/walkyourtalk.org
PPS. More learning videos at YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/rickiis
http://www.youtube.com/rickiis
About World Empathy Day (WEday) WEday is a day (Wednesdays) for
increased conscious connection with compassion, communication,
community and fun. The intention of these brief weekly tips is to
help support this consciousness during the week. Feel free to send the
tip to others or a comment to me. www.empathyday.com
increased conscious connection with compassion, communication,
community and fun. The intention of these brief weekly tips is to
help support this consciousness during the week. Feel free to send the
tip to others or a comment to me. www.empathyday.com
( Weekly Communication Tips)
( view list in the older post)
Monday, September 6, 2010
Ten things...
10 things anyone could do on October 2nd:
Make 3 phone calls to people you know, especially ones who may need connection, and listen with empathy.
Make cards of appreciation that clearly state how someone has enriched your life, and mail them.
Put a sign at your table in a local coffee shop, offering to listen to anyone who'd like to be heard.
Call into the Tele-Empathy line to give and receive empathy with people from around the world.
At a school, offer to be an empath for the day, for parents, students, teachers, and administrators.
Carry a list of universal human needs to a meeting of people whose opinions differ from yours. Before speaking, quietly guess what their needs are.
Go where you are likely to encounter someone homeless and take them for a meal and listen to their story.
Go to a senior center, nursing home or hospital, bring an empathy card deck, and play Easy Empathy.
Contact a local Peace and Justice center and invite various social action groups to come together to share ideas and connect.
( international Day For Empathic Action)
The Power of Empathy
" When you start to develop your powers of empathy and imagination, the whole world opens up to you. "
Susan Sarandon
Listening Children empathically
"More than anything, your children want to be heard.
Listening to them with a focus on their feelings and needs is the essence of empathy. Empathy is giving the gift of your presence -- without judgment, analysis, suggestions, stories or any motivation to fix things.
When you empathize with your children, you listen for their feelings and needs even, and especially, when their words sound like criticism, blame or judgment. It is at these times that they (like all of us) need empathy the most."
( compassionate Parenting Tips)
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Raimon Panikkar
“I left Europe [for India] as a Christian, I discovered I was a Hindu and returned as a Buddhist without ever having ceased to be a Christian.”
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Listen!
"The more we use words that imply criticism, the more difficult it is for people to stay connected to the beauty within themselves."
- Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Neighbourhood community networks
Some useful links http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sociocracy
http://www.sociocraticgovernance.org/
http://www.neighborhoodparliament.org/Parliaments.html
NCN and Peace
Neighbourhood community networks
sociocracy
Neighbourhood children's parliament
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Self empathy
'WHAT IS 'SELF EMPATHY?'
Self Empathy supports us to re-perceive our world in a new, fresh way and move away from pre-programmed habitual reactions. The practice of self empathy with presence guides us to move beyond guilt, shame and anger to healing and self-connection. We can move beyond 'right & wrong', 'blame & shame' to what needs or values we are meeting or were attempting to meet.
Priority for Empathy studies
- The Promise Of Empathy
"Empathy has recently emerged as a topic of critical importance: in the social sciences and
in popular political discourse we wonder about the promise of empathy in our efforts to
overcome differences of race, religion, or national culture; in the humanities and fine arts we
hope to facilitate empathy by providing an imaginative reconstruction of our own or someone
else's experience; in the natural sciences of evolutionary biology and neurophysiology we are
eager to ground empathy in human nature."
"Empathy has recently emerged as a topic of critical importance: in the social sciences and
in popular political discourse we wonder about the promise of empathy in our efforts to
overcome differences of race, religion, or national culture; in the humanities and fine arts we
hope to facilitate empathy by providing an imaginative reconstruction of our own or someone
else's experience; in the natural sciences of evolutionary biology and neurophysiology we are
eager to ground empathy in human nature."
On Empathy
A Peaceful Living 4-Day Intermediate Retreat with Mary Mackenzie
Empathy As a Way of Being: An Intermediate Level Retreat designed to facilitate deep growth and transformation.
- Experience a deepening in your empathy process, taking it to the next level.
- Increase self-compassion through self-empathy.
- Find out what prevents you from giving empathy and learn ways to clarify your choices in such moments.
- Enhance your skills for empathic connection.
- Explore street empathy for natural flow in your connections.
Mary Mackenzie, M.A., is the Executive Director, Flagstaff Center for Compassionate Communication, Co-founder NVC Academy, CNVC Certified Trainer, Mediator and Author.
An Appeal to the Youth
In Interconnected World, Young People Must Learn Skills — Listening, Empathy — That
Encourage Dialogue across Cultures, Says Secretary-General in Message
Following is UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon’s message on International Youth Day, observed 12 August:
This year’s commemoration of International Youth Day also marks the launch of the International Year of Youth, under the theme “Dialogue and Mutual Understanding”.
Today’s challenging social and economic environment warrants a special focus on youth. Eighty-seven per cent of people aged 15 to 24 live in developing countries. The global economic crisis has had a disproportionate impact on young people; they have lost jobs, struggled to find even low-wage employment and seen access to education curtailed. As economies slowly begin to stabilize, the needs of young people should be paramount.
This is a moral imperative and a developmental necessity. But it is also an opportunity: the energy of youth can ignite faltering economies. I am regularly inspired by the good will, talent and idealism of the young people I meet across the world. They are making important contributions to our work to eradicate poverty, contain the spread disease, combat climate change and achieve the Millennium Development Goals. I call on Member States to increase their investments in young people so they can do even more.
During the International Year, the United Nations and its youth organization partners will focus on the need to encourage dialogue and understanding across generations, cultures and religions. In a world in which different peoples and traditions are coming into closer, more frequent contact than ever before, it is crucial that young people learn how to listen intently, empathize with others, acknowledge divergent opinions, and be able to resolve conflicts. Few endeavours are more important than nurturing these skills, and educating young people about human rights, for in them we not only see the next generation of leaders, but also crucial stakeholders of today. Let us also recognize that older generations themselves stand to learn a great deal from the experiences and examples of young people as they come of age in a world of accelerating interconnectedness.
As we launch this International Year, let us acknowledge and celebrate what youth can do to build a safer, more just world. Let us strengthen our efforts to include young people in policies, programmes and decision-making processes that benefit their futures and ours.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Stop negative thinking!
The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.” – Dalai Lama
Life could be so much better for many people, if they would just spot their negative thinking habits and replace them with positive ones.
Negative thinking, in all its many-splendored forms, has a way of creeping into conversations and our thinking without our noticing them. The key to success, in my humble opinion, is learning to spot these thoughts and squash them like little bugs. Then replace them with positive ones. You’ll notice a huge difference in everything you do.
Let’s take a look at 10 common ways that negative thinking emerges — get good at spotting these patterns, and practice replacing them with positive thinking patterns. It has made all the difference in the world for me.
10 Deadly Sins of Negative Thinking
1. I will be happy once I have _____ (or once I earn X).
Problem: If you think you can’t be happy until you reach a certain point, or until you reach a certain income, or have a certain type of house or car or computer setup, you’ll never be happy. That elusive goal is always just out of reach. Once we reach those goals, we are not satisfied — we want more.
Solution: Learn to be happy with what you have, where you are, and who you are, right at this moment. Happiness doesn’t have to be some state that we want to get to eventually — it can be found right now. Learn to count your blessings, and see the positive in your situation. This might sound simplistic, but it works.
2. I wish I were as ____ as (a celebrity, friend, co-worker).
Problem: We’ll never be as pretty, as talented, as rich, as sculpted, as cool, as everyone else. There will always be someone better, if you look hard enough. Therefore, if we compare ourselves to others like this, we will always pale, and will always fail, and will always feel bad about ourselves. This is no way to be happy.
Solution: Stop comparing yourself to others, and look instead at yourself — what are your strengths, your accomplishments, your successes, however small? What do you love about yourself? Learn to love who you are, right now, not who you want to become. There is good in each of us, love in each of us, and a wonderful human spirit in every one of us.
3. Seeing others becoming successful makes me jealous and resentful.
Problem: First, this assumes that only a small number of people can be successful. In truth, many, many people can be successful — in different ways.
Solution: Learn to admire the success of others, and learn from it, and be happy for them, by empathizing with them and understanding what it must be like to be them. And then turn away from them, and look at yourself — you can be successful too, in whatever you choose to do. And even more, you already are successful. Look not at those above you in the social ladder, but those below you — there are always millions of people worse off than you, people who couldn’t even read this article or afford a computer. In that light, you are a huge success.
4. I am a miserable failure — I can’t seem to do anything right.
Problem: Everyone is a failure, if you look at it in certain ways. Everyone has failed, many times, at different things. I have certainly failed so many times I cannot count them — and I continue to fail, daily. However, looking at your failures as failures only makes you feel bad about yourself. By thinking in this way, we will have a negative self-image and never move on from here.
Solution: See your successes and ignore your failures. Look back on your life, in the last month, or year, or 5 years. And try to remember your successes. If you have trouble with this, start documenting them — keep a success journal, either in a notebook or online. Document your success each day, or each week. When you look back at what you’ve accomplished, over a year, you will be amazed. It’s an incredibly positive feeling.
5. I’m going to beat so-and-so no matter what — I’m better than him. And there’s no way I’ll help him succeed — he might beat me.
Problem: Competitiveness assumes that there is a small amount of gold to be had, and I need to get it before he does. It makes us into greedy, back-stabbing, hurtful people. We try to claw our way over people to get to success, because of our competitive feelings. For example, if a blogger wants to have more subscribers than another blogger, he may never link to or mention that other blogger. However, who is to say that my subscribers can’t also be yours? People can read and subscribe to more than one blog.
Solution: Learn to see success as something that can be shared, and learn that if we help each other out, we can each have a better chance to be successful. Two people working towards a common goal are better than two people trying to beat each other up to get to that goal. There is more than enough success to go around. Learn to think in terms of abundance rather than scarcity.
6. Dammit! Why do these bad things always happen to me?
Problem: Bad things happen to everybody. If we dwell on them, they will frustrate us and bring us down.
Solution: See bad things as a part of the ebb and flow of life. Suffering is a part of the human condition — but it passes. All pain goes away, eventually. Meanwhile, don’t let it hold you back. Don’t dwell on bad things, but look forward towards something good in your future. And learn to take the bad things in stride, and learn from them. Bad things are actually opportunities to grow and learn and get stronger, in disguise.
7. You can’t do anything right! Why can’t you be like ____ ?
Problem: This can be said to your child or your subordinate or your sibling. The problem? Comparing two people, first of all, is always a fallacy. People are different, with different ways of doing things, different strengths and weaknesses, different human characteristics. If we were all the same, we’d be robots. Second, saying negative things like this to another person never helps the situation. It might make you feel better, and more powerful, but in truth, it hurts your relationship, it will actually make you feel negative, and it will certainly make the other person feel negative and more likely to continue negative behavior. Everyone loses.
Solution: Take the mistakes or bad behavior of others as an opportunity to teach. Show them how to do something. Second, praise them for their positive behavior, and encourage their success. Last, and most important, love them for who they are, and celebrate their differences.
8. Your work sucks. It’s super lame. You are a moron and I hope you never reproduce.
Problem: I’ve actually gotten this comment before. It feels wonderful. However, let’s look at it not from the perspective of the person receiving this kind of comment but from the perspective of the person giving it. How does saying something negative like this help you? I guess it might feel good to vent if you feel like your time has been wasted. But really, how much of your time has been wasted? A few minutes? And whose fault is that? The bloggers or yours? In truth, making negative comments just keeps you in a negative mindset. It’s also not a good way to make friends.
Solution: Learn to offer constructive solutions, first of all. Instead of telling someone their blog sucks, or that a post is lame, offer some specific suggestions for improvement. Help them get better. If you are going to take the time to make a comment, make it worth your time. Second, learn to interact with people in a more positive way — it makes others feel good and it makes you feel better about yourself. And you can make some great friends this way. That’s a good thing.
9. Insulting People Back
Problem: If someone insults you or angers you in some way, insulting them back and continuing your anger only transfers their problem to you. This person was probably having a bad day (or a bad year) and took it out on you for some reason. If you reciprocate, you are now having a bad day too. His problem has become yours. Not only that, but the cycle of insults can get worse and worse until it results in violence or other negative consequences — for both of you.
Solution: Let the insults or negative comments of others slide off you like Teflon. Don’t let their problem become yours. In fact, try to understand their problem more — why would someone say something like that? What problems are they going through? Having a little empathy for someone not only makes you understand that their comment is not about you, but it can make you feel and act in a positive manner towards them — and make you feel better about yourself in the process.
10. I don’t think I can do this — I don’t have enough discipline. Maybe some other time.
Problem: If you don’t think you can do something, you probably won’t. Especially for the big stuff. Discipline has nothing to do with it — motivation and focus has everything to do with it. And if you put stuff off for “some other time”, you’ll never get it done. Negative thinking like this inhibits us from accomplishing anything.
Solution: Turn your thinking around: you can do this! You don’t need discipline. Find ways to make yourself a success at your goal. If you fail, learn from your mistakes, and try again. Instead of putting a goal off for later, start now. And focus on one goal at a time, putting all of your energy into it, and getting as much help from others as you can. You can really move mountains if you start with positive thinking.
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